Intersection

What reality do you live in everyday? Is your reality filled with joy and wonder? Maybe it is a dark reality resounding with sadness and depression. Whose reality do you live in when you wake up the morning? Are you living in the reality of your boss? Your spouse? A bully that you fear?

Creative work is wider than physical space. We create paintings, sculptures, delicious meals, and businesses, but every day (every minute really) we create our reality. When we speak a harsh word we usher a reality of hate into the world. If we wake up, look in the mirror and feel disgust we give birth to a reality of insecurity and fear. Sometimes we choose to live in another person’s reality. Consider the little girl who was called fat in high school and lives every minute of her adult life in the reality of bitterness and self-hatred.

Every thought. Every word. Each and every action… Creates reality for you and for others. Choose to create a wonderful and beautiful reality. More importantly, choose to make this love filled reality one that others can live in with you.

Everyone worries about the big stuff. We stay up at night concerned about our career. Thinking about which school our children will attend, and how we will pay for their college. We are told to concern ourselves with these big things and not to “sweat the small stuff.” Then authors write clever books telling us to sweat the small things because they are important too.

I say forget about sweating or worrying about anything… big or small. Instead, focus on mastering. Master the small things. Mastery happens when habits are no longer tendencies but normal actions. So practice excellent small habits. These seem insignificant, but they are the soil in which success can grow. For example,  master the art of interpersonal conversation and watch your network widen. Here is a simple one, master the ability to walk on a street with confidence. Instead of staring at the ground when you pass people look them in the eye as you pass and say hello. I guarantee that this small habit will begin to cultivate a person of charisma and confidence in you.

Forget about sweating or not sweating the big or smalls stuff. Concern yourself with mastering small habits every day.

is my classroom. Yesterday I bought a frozen pizza at Vons. I stood in line looking at all the bored people and the bored checker swiping each item across the counter. Then the checker switched out with another checker. This man began to drum on the items as he swiped them across the counter. His beat was accented nicely as he hit his hands on the side of the counter and even the register.

I watched as the people in line began to perk up. Some even started swaying with his sound. I looked at this man and said thank you. He responded with “no problem,” and I said… “no…thank you for making our time in the line enjoyable.”

Still, I wanted to tell him to spend every spare minute pursuing a career in drumming. Part of me wanted to grab him, pull him aside, and scream, “what are you doing at Vons… go start a band, be a street performer, try out for America’s got talent, put your music on youtube, get a twitter account, go chase your dream…” I wanted to pay for his lessons, give him a new drum set, or set him up with a gig.

Then I looked over my head at the people still in line. I saw them smiling, laughing, and moving to his drum beat. I glanced back at him, he looked at me with a smile, and without even missing a beat… he sent me a wave. In that moment I realized that this man does not need to quit his job at Vons to pursue a career in music. He gives his art right where he is needed. He changes the world one Vons line at a time.

Give your art freely and abundantly instead of always looking for a way to climb the ladder

Position yourself in anticipation but not anxiety.

Anxiety causes you to always reach for the next thing. Anticipation moves you to wait patiently.

Anxiety cultivates bitterness about your current situation. Anticipation helps you make the most of the present.

Anxiety blinds you to the joy of the moment. Anticipation gives you hope in this moment for the next one.

Anxiety will never be satisfied. Anticipation finds satisfaction in using this moment to prepare for the next.

Choose to anticipate and avoid anxiety.

change everything. Recently, I got hit in the face playing basketball and my lip was cut. It was a small insignificant cut that bled a lot. Now it hurts to drink, it stings to take a shower, I peel dead skin out of my mouth after I eat, and sleeping with the fan on is tough.

Little wounds change everything. Have you been wounded in small ways? The small wounds matter. Seek healing.

The little things we do will leave small wounds that change everything. Be intentional in the small moments.

If you come to any decision big or small do you tend to hesitate? Hesitation in the face of decisions has little to do with knowledge of the “right” choice and more to do with a lack of knowing yourself. People that know who they are and where they are going make decisions with ease. That does not mean they are reckless in fact it is the opposite. They are so confident in their identity that their decisions though swift are sound and consistent.

We often glorify hesitation almost as a spiritual discipline, and applaud those that take a long time to make decisions. Some situations call for careful deliberation and thought. However, most of the time your hesitation is a red flag warning you that you do not know who you are.

In Rocky 3, Clubber Lang called Rocky Balboa a “Paper Champion.” Clubber criticized Balboa for being carried by his manager and never boxing tough fighters. Lady Gaga has a song “Paper Gangster” in which she sings how she is not “interested in fakers” or people that talk a bunch but can’t finish.

I often feel like Clubber and GaGa when I look pastors or even myself as a pastor. So many men and women in ministry seem paper-thin. I know I have moments each week when I act like a paper-thin pastor. Take a look at all the paper pastors leading our churches afraid to confront hypocrisy, faking like they have it all together, fearful of change, stuck in vision vacuums, unable to say no, unwilling to fire someone, and the list could go on and on.

Paper-thin pastors lead paper-thin churches that the world crumples up and throws away like a crappy flyer.

I have been waiting to publish this post for almost six months because I struggled with how to end it. Last Friday, I came across Proverbs 14:4 which reads, “without strong oxen a stable stays clean, but you need a strong ox for a large harvest.”

I read about “rapid” growth or “explosive” growth in Acts and wonder why we do not experience that type of harvest in the church today… Pastors, you and I, we must stop trying to keep our stable clean. They were never meant to be clean and we were never meant to be paper-thin stable janitors. Too often we teach our pastors that they must lead like a deer. Nice. Safe. Pretty. And warm. I disagree. We need you to be an ox. A strong ox. Working hard for the harvest. Unafraid if things get a little messy in the stable because the mess is worth the harvest.

Is your pastor paper-thin? If she/he is then challenge her this week. Are you a paper-thin pastor? May this post challenge you.

Stop trying to read this fast to get to the next post in your reader.

Everyone in busy. Stop using it as an excuse to ignore people

Everyone is busy. Stop complaining about it.

Everyone is busy. Stop saying yes.

Everyone is busy. Stop trying to please everyone that is busy.

Everyone is busy. Stop trying to make yourself feel better with a packed schedule.

Everyone is busy. Stop.

Stop and you will shake people with your refusal to let your schedule rob you of their inherent importance

My guess is that most of us know when and how we need to rest. The struggle I experience and I know many others experience is knowing “how” to relax. To enjoy something for the sake of enjoying it. To stop working or worrying and just be. Even the statement “I do not know ‘how’ to relax” implies that we think “relaxing” is a skill that takes work to be mastered.

Most effective leaders rest often. Superior leaders also know how to relax. Everyday. I see many 20 year old people wasting their time refusing to take the opportunity to lead. On the other hand, I see other young people in leadership (including myself) set dangerous precedents for themselves when they refuse to relax. A life without relaxation is one that misunderstands itself as a savior.

Rest and relaxation are different. Rest refuels and relaxation is meant to be enjoyed. It is good to be driven. Even better to be determined. It is best to enjoy your work. Still, if you never enjoy your life over your work then you will be distant and detached in your leadership. Detached, in the sense that you have distanced yourself from the “enjoyment” of life that those you lead possess. You cannot lead human beings if you refuse to admit that you are one. Develop the discipline of both rest and relaxation. I am learning “how” to relax today.

are you fulfilled? Exhaustion comes to us all usually after we have thrown ourselves into something we believe in. After all the work is done the resulting exhaustion can be hauntingly empty or deeply filling. There is nothing better than hitting your bed knowing that you have given absolutely everything of you mind, body, and soul towards the work you know matters. On the other hand, there is nothing more frightening then hitting your bed wondering if all that work really made a difference.

Often your exhaustion is not fulfilling when the motivation behind your work is broken. If you are trying to prove something, please others, avoid conflict, obtain something for yourself, or hurt someone else… often your exhaustion will be empty. Examine your motivation if your exhaustion is not deeply filling.