Intersection

Off the Grid is where i’ve been… well, not really I’ve been very much on the grid, but just simply choosing to be more of a fly sticking to the wall of the grid so to speak. I’ve watched people discuss stories from the NFL and Lakers trade rumors. It was interested to observe as the KONY film went viral and then watch as the steaming pot of hate get dumped on Russell after his episode breakdown.

I planted and watered some flowers. I was more present at meals with my wife. I made some friendships with people my own age and enjoyed having uninterrupted time for them. I went for more bike rides. I took a vacation with my wife to celebrate our first wedding anniversary. I listened in my masters classes instead of checking my twitter feed.

If the Grid that is online social media has a color I would say it is blue. You know… the light blue color that shines out of a bug zapper and attracts all sorts of bugs. In fact, have you ever noticed that sometimes bugs hover around a bug zapper. I like to think that they have conversations as they hover around it together. I’ve come to think of social media that way… it attracts all of us. We like to share or pin now (see I have been paying attention while I was gone) interesting news stories, ideas, and information as we hover over our computers, iPads, or iPhones.

But I got to close. I have to say, I’ve enjoyed my existence more at a distance from social media. How about you?

What reality do you live in everyday? Is your reality filled with joy and wonder? Maybe it is a dark reality resounding with sadness and depression. Whose reality do you live in when you wake up the morning? Are you living in the reality of your boss? Your spouse? A bully that you fear?

Creative work is wider than physical space. We create paintings, sculptures, delicious meals, and businesses, but every day (every minute really) we create our reality. When we speak a harsh word we usher a reality of hate into the world. If we wake up, look in the mirror and feel disgust we give birth to a reality of insecurity and fear. Sometimes we choose to live in another person’s reality. Consider the little girl who was called fat in high school and lives every minute of her adult life in the reality of bitterness and self-hatred.

Every thought. Every word. Each and every action… Creates reality for you and for others. Choose to create a wonderful and beautiful reality. More importantly, choose to make this love filled reality one that others can live in with you.

listen anymore? There is so much sharing, liking, spreading, linking, forwarding, buzzing, and re-tweeting that I often wonder if we speak and share well, but listen poorly . There is great value in the speed at which information, innovative ideas, and important causes can spread. The flip side is that we rarely sit and pour our attention into a person.

I see this in myself. I immediately disregard long text messages, blog posts that are triple this size, or someone that rambles when they speak. The challenge is to not disregard those people but listen when it is hard. Also, I believe we often do not even really listen to the great quote we retweet. How often do we meditate on something for ten minutes before we re-tweet it?  Share well. Speak well. Listen well. We need all three. If all we do is share and speak we will quickly become deaf.

Everyone worries about the big stuff. We stay up at night concerned about our career. Thinking about which school our children will attend, and how we will pay for their college. We are told to concern ourselves with these big things and not to “sweat the small stuff.” Then authors write clever books telling us to sweat the small things because they are important too.

I say forget about sweating or worrying about anything… big or small. Instead, focus on mastering. Master the small things. Mastery happens when habits are no longer tendencies but normal actions. So practice excellent small habits. These seem insignificant, but they are the soil in which success can grow. For example,  master the art of interpersonal conversation and watch your network widen. Here is a simple one, master the ability to walk on a street with confidence. Instead of staring at the ground when you pass people look them in the eye as you pass and say hello. I guarantee that this small habit will begin to cultivate a person of charisma and confidence in you.

Forget about sweating or not sweating the big or smalls stuff. Concern yourself with mastering small habits every day.

Why do you do what you do? This question could refer to a job. It could challenge a habit, ritual, or practice that you uphold on a daily basis. Maybe it questions the way you think when you look in the mirror. Most of us fear this question because it could reveal something in us that we do not want to see.

Everyone please, stop reading. Stop tweeting. Stop blogging. Stop and ask why. This is more than clearing your head. Your answer reveals what moves you, and whatever moves you dictates where you are going and when you will get there. You may have thought you were flying in an airplane when really you are pedaling a tricycle. You’ll never know unless you ask why. Take the time to do that today.

When does it all fall apart? At what point do the walls of the system that you have created begin to crumble?

The moment when pixels on a screen became more precious than peace is when my castle began to crumble. And honestly the crumbling is good. It is healthy. Crumbling moments are painful but life giving. They are moments of discovery.

This is what I have experienced in the past few months: A life giving crumbling… no a shattering rather, a shattering of prideful goals, selfish ambition, recklessly rooted identity, and idolatrous motivation… all of which were fed to me by a monster. And guess what? This monster subtly feeds most young people dangerous ideas like platform, follower count, influence, leadership, upward mobility, and success. If left unfiltered these words act like a drug pumping up an ego like steroids inflate a NFL lineman.

In the Christian arena, the words of this monster can be heard in conferences, seen in Christian colleges, and read on “leadership” blogs. These unfiltered words shape our generation, and it all crumbled when I took an honest look at who I was becoming. Think about the danger in a generation chasing platforms and positions instead of peace and people. Consider the damage that a generation will cause when ambition is held higher than love. When online presence is more valuable than presence among the poor or if upward mobility veiled as “leadership potential” is talked about more than unwavering servant heartedness.

A few months ago the walls of that system shattered for me. Let me be clear, it is not that I do not care anymore. I care more than ever… just about the right things. I care about the river.

I believe there is a rushing river that God draws us towards. It is His River that nourishes souls, sustains the world, and filters out the toxic ideas. He draws us to the edge and invites us to jump in. He invites us to be swept away into his ideas, ways of life, and participate in healing the world. However, in that moment we often get lost. We get caught up with building massive bridges over the river or huge skyscrapers by the side of the river so everyone can come and look at it. We develop an irrigation system to reach more dry areas or build roads that might draw more people to the river’s edge. And then in conferences, colleges, and blogs we discuss how young people can be like the great leaders that built these bridges, buildings, irrigation systems, and roads.

I have come to realize that this not what God invites us to do. When I rediscovered this River, and his invitation… well, it all fell apart, I jumped off my half built skyscraper that I was busy constructing, and discovered that life in the River is so much better. So when does it all fall apart in your life?

is my classroom. Yesterday I bought a frozen pizza at Vons. I stood in line looking at all the bored people and the bored checker swiping each item across the counter. Then the checker switched out with another checker. This man began to drum on the items as he swiped them across the counter. His beat was accented nicely as he hit his hands on the side of the counter and even the register.

I watched as the people in line began to perk up. Some even started swaying with his sound. I looked at this man and said thank you. He responded with “no problem,” and I said… “no…thank you for making our time in the line enjoyable.”

Still, I wanted to tell him to spend every spare minute pursuing a career in drumming. Part of me wanted to grab him, pull him aside, and scream, “what are you doing at Vons… go start a band, be a street performer, try out for America’s got talent, put your music on youtube, get a twitter account, go chase your dream…” I wanted to pay for his lessons, give him a new drum set, or set him up with a gig.

Then I looked over my head at the people still in line. I saw them smiling, laughing, and moving to his drum beat. I glanced back at him, he looked at me with a smile, and without even missing a beat… he sent me a wave. In that moment I realized that this man does not need to quit his job at Vons to pursue a career in music. He gives his art right where he is needed. He changes the world one Vons line at a time.

Give your art freely and abundantly instead of always looking for a way to climb the ladder

Position yourself in anticipation but not anxiety.

Anxiety causes you to always reach for the next thing. Anticipation moves you to wait patiently.

Anxiety cultivates bitterness about your current situation. Anticipation helps you make the most of the present.

Anxiety blinds you to the joy of the moment. Anticipation gives you hope in this moment for the next one.

Anxiety will never be satisfied. Anticipation finds satisfaction in using this moment to prepare for the next.

Choose to anticipate and avoid anxiety.

change everything. Recently, I got hit in the face playing basketball and my lip was cut. It was a small insignificant cut that bled a lot. Now it hurts to drink, it stings to take a shower, I peel dead skin out of my mouth after I eat, and sleeping with the fan on is tough.

Little wounds change everything. Have you been wounded in small ways? The small wounds matter. Seek healing.

The little things we do will leave small wounds that change everything. Be intentional in the small moments.

If you come to any decision big or small do you tend to hesitate? Hesitation in the face of decisions has little to do with knowledge of the “right” choice and more to do with a lack of knowing yourself. People that know who they are and where they are going make decisions with ease. That does not mean they are reckless in fact it is the opposite. They are so confident in their identity that their decisions though swift are sound and consistent.

We often glorify hesitation almost as a spiritual discipline, and applaud those that take a long time to make decisions. Some situations call for careful deliberation and thought. However, most of the time your hesitation is a red flag warning you that you do not know who you are.