The River & Disappearing from the System

When does it all fall apart? At what point do the walls of the system that you have created begin to crumble?

The moment when pixels on a screen became more precious than peace is when my castle began to crumble. And honestly the crumbling is good. It is healthy. Crumbling moments are painful but life giving. They are moments of discovery.

This is what I have experienced in the past few months: A life giving crumbling… no a shattering rather, a shattering of prideful goals, selfish ambition, recklessly rooted identity, and idolatrous motivation… all of which were fed to me by a monster. And guess what? This monster subtly feeds most young people dangerous ideas like platform, follower count, influence, leadership, upward mobility, and success. If left unfiltered these words act like a drug pumping up an ego like steroids inflate a NFL lineman.

In the Christian arena, the words of this monster can be heard in conferences, seen in Christian colleges, and read on “leadership” blogs. These unfiltered words shape our generation, and it all crumbled when I took an honest look at who I was becoming. Think about the danger in a generation chasing platforms and positions instead of peace and people. Consider the damage that a generation will cause when ambition is held higher than love. When online presence is more valuable than presence among the poor or if upward mobility veiled as “leadership potential” is talked about more than unwavering servant heartedness.

A few months ago the walls of that system shattered for me. Let me be clear, it is not that I do not care anymore. I care more than ever… just about the right things. I care about the river.

I believe there is a rushing river that God draws us towards. It is His River that nourishes souls, sustains the world, and filters out the toxic ideas. He draws us to the edge and invites us to jump in. He invites us to be swept away into his ideas, ways of life, and participate in healing the world. However, in that moment we often get lost. We get caught up with building massive bridges over the river or huge skyscrapers by the side of the river so everyone can come and look at it. We develop an irrigation system to reach more dry areas or build roads that might draw more people to the river’s edge. And then in conferences, colleges, and blogs we discuss how young people can be like the great leaders that built these bridges, buildings, irrigation systems, and roads.

I have come to realize that this not what God invites us to do. When I rediscovered this River, and his invitation… well, it all fell apart, I jumped off my half built skyscraper that I was busy constructing, and discovered that life in the River is so much better. So when does it all fall apart in your life?